FF 2007 Season in Review

Aelyn's SoCal Real Dolls
The Dolls were brilliantly coached this year, averaging less than nine points behind their optimal scoring through out the season. The center of the team was LaDanian Tomlinson, providing the Dolls consistent performance that saw the Dolls finish the regular season in third place with a 9-5 record. The playoffs wouldn't treat the Dolls well though, seeing them fall to the Falix's Puffs in a heartbreaking 93-83 loss that put the Dolls out of championship contention. The largest victory of the Dolls season came in week five when they crushed 101-60 on way to 1124 points on the season, third best in the league.

Asgoth's Asgothian Terrors
Asgoth was terrorized by almost everyone he played, finishing the season in 13th place with only four wins. The Terrors did have some bright moments, scoring victories against two playoff teams in Vin's Mallowman and Aelyn's Dolls. Other than that, the Terrors suffered a horrible season, besting only Deokoria's dismal Doomsday Daffodils.

Bael's Chef Wang's SteamyDumplings
The Chef's started out the season cooking, with a 4-3 record and looking to be playoff contenders, but dropped five of their last six to finish 5-9 and in 12th place. Their season fell apart after one of their star receivers, Marvin Harrison went down with injury. The Dumplings were unable to find a way to make up for the loss and stunk it up the last half of the season.

Daryonn's Been Gals
The Gal's went 8-6 on the season, securing a playoff spot where they made most of their opportunities. They started out in the first round scoring a 58-39 win against Vin's Mallowman in a surprisingly low scoring affair. Following that game they scored a victory that nobody thought they could when they knocked off the most dominant team in Threshold Fantasy Football history, Levastire's Sopranos in a 91-86 shocker. With this they moved to the championship game against Yarzin's Teabaggers where the salty nuts in the mouth were too much to overcome and they fell 53-76 falling just short of the ultimate crown. The Gals will savor their second place trophy this year as they prepare for another playoff run next year.

Deokoria's Doomsday Daffodils
The dismal Daffodils were winless through nine games before putting up a shocking 100 points in week 10 in a victory over Asgoth's Terrors. They then finished the season with victories over Falix's Puffs and Vin's Mallowman in the last three weeks of the season. This wasn't enough to move them out of DFL, however, and they finished the season with the lowest point production of any team in the league. Some feminists are blaming Dee for single handedly setting the fantasy football arm of their movement back ten years by providing men another data point for why women have no place near the gridiron.

Falix's Detroit PowderPuffs
The Puffs had a solid season, earning the final playoff spot where they took full advantage in the first round and knocked off Aelyn's Dolls, but came up short against the eventual league champ Yarzin's Baggers and again against Levastire's Sopranos. While the Puffs avenged a loss at the hands of the Dolls during the season they were unable to do the same against the Sopranos who handed them their worst loss of the season, a 39-118 drubbing. The Puffs look to build on their success next year with a stronger run in the playoffs next season.

Gadiantor's Gridiron Gorians
In a tale of two seasons the Gorians started out flat with a 2-5 record, but won five of their next seven games, losing only to playoff teams Levastire's Sopranos and Vin's Mallowman. One of the keys to the turn around was free agents like Ryan Grant. Of course they needed free agent help after the debacle of a draft that saw them finishing the season with only two starters (Plaxico Burress and Antonio Gates) from their starting roster. The Gorian comeback fell just one game short of a playoff run, but for this year they are taking pride in being one of only three men not to lose to a girl this season.

Irae's Purple Unicorns
The following men need to turn in their man cards after suffering defeat at the hands of the Purple Unicorns: Leshrak, Asgoth, Falix, Sebboe, and Daryonn. Not only does a bunch of prancing mythical creatures not inspire fear in the hearts of opponents, but the Unicorns finished the season 12th in points scored, averaging only 63 points a game. Despite low point production the Unicorns were able to scrape up six wins this season. After a rough rookie outing Unicorn fans are hopeful for a possible playoff run in their sophomore season.

Leshrak's Vortex of Loss
The aptly named Vortex sucked yet again, managing only five wins this season. The best game of the season for the hapless squad was a 109-55 deflowering of Deokoria's Daffodils in week three. That and a 74-41 stomping of the Asgothian Terrors were the only highlights in a season that saw them finishing 11th in the league. After what was obviously a rebuilding year the Vortex fans are hoping to climb out of the basement next year.

Levastire's Fat Tony's Sopranos
The Sopranos' combined punishing offense with an equally devastating defense to completely dominate. Averaging 105 points per game and allowing only 60, their only loss came in week 12 when they had their lowest production of the season (72) and allowed the most points (76) when squaring off with Vin's Mallowman. The team was most dominating in weeks six and 11 when they destroyed Leshrak's Vortex and Asgoth's terrors by over 100 points en route to an average margin of victory of 45 points. The Sopranos finished the season first in points and in the standings, but let the rust build up in their bye week. In the playoffs the upstart Daryonn's Gals scored the biggest upset of the season defeating the Sopranos 91-86. The Sopranos won in the next round to lock in third place, but their fans are still reeling. Next year Sopranos fans hope to build off of this season and push for the first ever perfect season and a championship trophy.

Pyryth's The Pokeys
The Pokeys were winless through the first five games of the season, but were able to pick up their next three in a row before finishing the season 5-9 and in 10th place. Point production for the Pokeys was erratic, ranging from 49 in weeks one and 13 to 99 in week 11. Pokeys fans are hoping for more consistent production next year or they may start calling for a coaching change.

Sebboe's SF Lesbians
These Lesbians were clearly the lipstick variety, they looked good and were easy to get on bottom. Despite being fourth in scoring they finished the league in eight place. Averaging 79 points a game and having a high game of 127 just wasn't enough as their defense allowed 73.5 points per game. While these girls knew how to score they also loved putting out. While every man loves this combination it was not a recipe for success for Sebobe, who will go back to the drawing board...of course hot girl on girl action could be enough of a lure to keep them away from seeking fantasy football success.

Vin's Staypuff Marshmellow Man
The Mallowman was dominant in the first half of the season holding a 5-2 record, but won only three of the next seven, finishing in fifth place. One of their three wins in the last half of the season came against Levastire's Sopranos, making Mallow fans believe they could do anything once the playoffs started. Daryonn's Gals had other ideas as they rolled right over the Mallowman on the way to their second place finish. Mallow fans hope that the early spark will be back and sustained next season as they hope for another trip to the playoffs.

Yarzin's Dem TeaBaggers
With all of the attention on the domination of Levastire's Sopranos the Baggers quietly put nuts to mouth all season finishing in second place in both points and division standings. Averaging 86.5 points per game while allowing only 65 the Baggers were able to win 11 games this season and claim the league championship with wins over both Falix's Puffs and Daryonn's Gals in the playoffs. People all over the nation are now jumping on the Bagger bandwagon with reports of salty nut partakers rising 568% in the last month. Not only is Yarzin responsible for leading his team to a championship, but also for helping couples expand their sexual horizons. We salute you!