I’m a psychologist working in early intervention/prevention with kids diagnosed with, and at risk of developing serious and persistent behaviour difficulties such as ADHD, ODD or even CD (conduct disorder). These are not your average ‘garden variety’ child behaviour problems. Kids with these disorders have very serious and persistent behaviour difficulties over and beyond what is expected from their same age peers.

With respect to causality, current research indicates that there are multiple factors that may place a child at risk of developing behaviour difficulties, not just poor parenting.

First, biological factors such as high emotional arousal have been associated with a high rate of behavioural problems in both children and adults.

Second, child factors may include difficult temperament, poor emotional regulation and social problem-solving skills, difficulty reading social and emotional cues in others, misattributions for things that happen – perceive things as a threat, and poor communication and language skills.

So the best way to think about this (and how I explain it to parents and teachers) is that kids with serious and persistent behaviour difficulties are simply taking longer to learn some of those basic life skills that kids their age tend to learn more easily. Just as kids having serious reading difficulties may require formal reading instruction, kids with behaviour difficulties may require formal instruction to acquire and practice these social and emotional life skills.

Third, there are also many parent and family factors implicated in the development and maintenance of kids behaviour difficulties. Some of which include; high stress in family, poor communication, parent mental health issues, marital relationship difficulties, lack of good role models, how adults react to the child’s difficulties (if parent’s are struggling to manage difficult behaviours, they may accidentally reinforce behaviours), and harsh parenting strategies to deal with difficult behaviour.

Fourth, broader social factors (e.g., low SES, lack of supports, poor access to professional support, school support, adequate funding for support etc) will then impact on parent and family functioning.

As you can see it is not possible to identify any one factor (i.e., poor parenting skills) as the cause of a child’s behaviour difficulties. Any thorough assessment process by a qualified professional would involve an examination of all precipitating, predisposing, and perpetuating factors that may help to explain why a child is presenting with behaviour difficulties. The results of the assessment process will give you clues about the best way to provide support to the child, their parents, and any others (school system) involved with the child.

Current best practice suggests that behavioural treatments are most effective in improving children’s social and behavioural outcomes. For example, in our program, we work with (a) the child to provide formal instruction in basic social, emotional and problem-solving kills, (b) parents to assist them to build on their children’s strengths and to manage difficult behaviour appropriately, and (c) school teachers to assist them to generalize and reinforce the child’s appropriate behaviour, manage difficult behaviour and to teach and prompt the kids to use social and emotional skills.

Some children are on stimulant medication and it is certainly necessary IN ADDITION to the other aspects of intervention mentioned above. Stimulant medication is necessary for those kids for which there is a biological bases for their behaviour difficulties.

Finally, with respect to poor parenting skills as a cause of child’s behaviour difficulties - so what! Kids don’t come with manuals!! There are so many parenting challenges to frazzle parents, not to mention the normal challenges of life (i.e., stress, relationship problems, and financial difficulties) that can impact on a parent’s ability to parent. There is absolutely no shame in needing support for parenting issues.

I haven’t provided any references for my information, but if anyone wants more information, just let me know. I have stacks of research literature on this stuff