Damn Yankees

[Aristotle]

I wish I didn't hate the Yankees. They have to be the best sports organization ever created, and Steinbrenner has to be the best sports owner of all time.

Some interesting thoughts from another great "Sports Guy" column:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...simmons/041014

10:08 -- Bellhorn strikes out to end the sixth. This Sox-Yankees thing has reached the point where I'm not even remotely shocked that Jon Lieber is throwing a one-hitter right now. He could levitate in mid-air like Neo to catch a high chopper and I wouldn't be surprised.

10:18 -- Olerud homers into the right-field bleachers on a 1-2 fastball by Pedro (who missed his spot -- Varitek was setting up outside). 3-0, Yankees. I swear on the Dooze's life that I typed the previous paragraph, verbatim, about 30 seconds ago.

(By the way, Olerud was released by a 58-win team this summer. Classic Yankees. They could pick up a hooker in Times Square, plug her in at second base and she'd hit .280. It's uncanny.)

"Let me get this straight, Jack Nicholson is a Laker fan AND a Yankee fan? Can we just paint a mustache on him and call him Hitler?"

10:50 -- All right, I'll ask: If you were a billionaire, would you waste your time filming a crappy reality show for Fox? Wouldn't you buy a sports team, open your own bar and plow through a neverending assembly line of dumb supermodels? Umm ... me neither.

11:35 -- After Manny cranks a one-out double -- shifting everyone at Yankee Stadium into "Uh-oh" mode -- Ortiz and Millar strike out swinging to end the game. Rivera does it again. He's the difference. He's always the difference. And you don't have to worry about him snapping an ankle tendon days before the biggest week of the season, because these things just don't seem to happen to the New York Yankees. That's why people root for them. It's the smart move. Like buying a stock that can't lose.

And since I can't come up with an ending, tonight's last word goes to Phil Horning from South Dakota: "As someone who dislikes both teams, I can't believe you compared the Red Sox-Yankees to Ali-Frazier. A more accurate sports rivalry would have been Martina Hingis-Anna Kournikova in the late-'90s. Both rivalries were overhyped by the media and the same side always wins."

Actually, that was too depressing. I want to hang myself.

I've said it many times before: Bill Simmons is the best sports writer in the business right now.

[Falix]

Best line ever......

10:19 -- "Who's your Daddy?!? Who's your Daddy?!? Who's your Daddy?!? Who's your Daddy?!? Who's your Daddy?!? Who's your Daddy?!? Who's your Daddy?!?"

(Thank God this isn't an NBA game.)

[Frobozz]

I love Bill Simmons, and Im a Yankees fan. He's absolutely hysterical.

By the way... Has anyone seen Arrgruff?

[Aristotle]

Of course the Sports Guy has the best article about the series:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...simmons/041021

Everyone seemed optimistic ... right up until Damon was thrown out at home in the first inning, thanks to yet another bone-headed decision from the immortal Dale Sveum. If this guy was a school crossing guard, little kids would be getting pancaked by SUVs like Tony Mandarich in his prime.

Meanwhile, the Red Sox were celebrating at Yankee Stadium. Have I mentioned that yet? We were doing our own celebrating at The Office, reacting like college kids in Cancun who just found out that Lindsay Lohan was entering a wet T-shirt contest that night

LOL

Exchanging high-fives and heterosexual man-hugs, I couldn't stop glancing at the TV. It's official, right? We definitely beat them, right?

"What's wrong with you?" Sully asked.

"Honestly? I keep waiting for them to announce that there's a Game 8."

[Aristotle]

By the way...

Is it at all scary that once again the Threshold Forums have successfully controlled the result in a major sporting event?

[Gadiantor]

Originally posted by Aristotle
By the way...

Is it at all scary that once again the Threshold Forums have successfully controlled the result in a major sporting event?

Let there be no doubt. The Threshold Sports Forum has the ultimate power to control the destiny of any sporting event or team.