Premium Fantasy Football '04

[Dalaena]

OMG. What is up with Isaviel and Deokoria? You chicks need to STEP IT UP! You're making us look bad.

Discovery Team: Are you drunk? How could you let the Christ Punchers win??!!

Gadiantor: Thanks for the great re-caps. Can we give him the Excellent Sports Writer award? Woo.

[Aristotle]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GO YOU MIGHTY CHRIST PUNCHERS!

[Xenoroyal]

WOW. The GiMets organizaton is appaled by the biased reporting that took place in this weeks game recaps!

Lets take a look at a few shoddy written snippets:

"The battle of the mediocre lived up to its billing as the GiMets (1-1-0) edged the Shellshock (1-1-0) 56.41 to 52.30."

This was a hard earned victory in light of the unfortunate injury of the GiMets star running back, who could be out six weeks now!

"We’ll see if the Blitz can earn another weak victory against an equally mediocre GiMets while the Bitches are poised to take it from the Pokeys."

While it seems the author has extreme enjoyment in his use of the word "medicore", he fails to point out his own teams lackluster performance, coming in with the 2nd lowest point total for this week, an IMPRESSIVE 49.49!

[Isaviel]

With Branch injured by those lousy Cardinals it made it a tough week for the Blitzers to finish with a punch but rest assure it's only been two weeks and the Blitzers will return with an uppercut.

But even as bad of a victory the Blitzers took they seem to even defeat out those Griddle Gorians who seem to lost their heat.

[Aristotle]

Hey Xeno, don't kill the messenger.

Great recaps!

[Gadiantor]

Originally posted by Xenoroyal
WOW. The GiMets organizaton is appaled by the biased reporting that took place in this weeks game recaps!

Since when has any of the media ever been unbiased?

I did contact the Gorians management and they said to point out that their two week total of 115.34 puts them in place to overtake the GiMets (only 97.92 points for two weeks) when the Gorians pull off the upset of the week against the Punchers and the GiMets return to their losing ways!

[Serith]

Serith's Shitlist:

FALIX

What the fuck is Falix doing? He's committing the A#1 worst cardinal sin in fantasy football.....


NOT PAYING A-FUCKING-TENTION TO YOU FUCKING TEAM!!!!!

Will this be the second week in a row he's starting a WR with a BROKEN FUCKING LEG?!

Im gonna go out on a limb and say that Steve Smith aint gonna make it to the line of scrimmage this week.

Get with the friggin' program.

[Dalaena]

Dude, I'm a football newbie and I would know not to start a wide receiver with a broken leg! He's about as useful as a husband without any money.

[Gadiantor]

Pyryth’s Pokeys VS Wrent’s Lucky Bitches

What a game for the Lucky Bitches (0-3-0)! The combination of Brett Favre passing to Javon Walker led to an amazing 91.66 points, third largest one-week total for the season, and well over the 79.45 season total that the Bitches took into this game. As fate would have it though, the Bitches luck ran out, as they faced a Pokeys (2-1-0) team who stuck it to the Bitches as predicted. The Pokeys put up the second highest one-week total this season with 97.46. With the victory the Pokeys hold fifth place, while the high octane burst from the Bitches moved them up one spot out of DFL. The Pokeys will face a GiMets team averaging a meager 50 points per week for the season, and are hoping for another big point production week to make a move into the top four. After an explosion this week that just fell short of getting the job done, the Bitches will try their luck against the third place Buttheads. After almost scoring an upset this week the Bitches hope to prove it wasn’t a flash in the pan.

Isaviel’s Blitzat1 VS Xenoroyal’s New York GiMets

In the nail-biter of the week the Blitz (2-1-0) got to the GiMets (1-2-0) and sacked them for a disappointing loss for the New Yorkers. A scant 55.93 points was enough to best the GiMets 51.21. With the win the Blitz are the big movers this week, vaulting three spots to sixth place (despite the second lowest point total in the league), while the GiMets drop two into ninth. The Blitz will face a real challenge next week as they face the league point leading DC, while the GiMets face a Pokeys team that have over 85 more points on the season than the New Yorkers. Both the Blitz and the GiMets will have to do something they have yet to do this season if they want to be competitive...break the 60 point mark.

Gadiantor’s Gridiron Gorians VS Serith’s Christ Punchers

The Gorians (0-3-0) best performance of the season, 75.17, wasn’t enough to knock off the first place Punchers (3-0-0) with 88.42. Starting the season 0-3 better get the Gorians blood going soon, or they’ll have no chance at a fourth straight trip to the playoffs. The Punchers almost overtook the point lead for the league this week, which would have solidified their number one status. Next week the Punchers face off with the number two PowderPuffs. Last time the top two teams squared off it was the Punchers overtaking DC for first. The Gorians look for their first victory as they face a Shellshock team who average under 52 points a week.

Falix’s PowderPuffs VS Sebboe’s Seizuredogs

The Puffs (3-0-0) proved that they have the power as they rolled up the newspaper and beat the Dogs (1-2-0) 89.66 to 55.75. Despite poor management the Puffs put up impressive numbers with players that didn’t even take the field this week. If management actually took the time to manage the team they could easily be in first place. They will definitely need to be on top of their game next week as they face the league leading Punchers. The Dogs, on the other hand, have the luxury of facing league worst Misfits.

Drasoini’s Shellshock VS Liathano’s Discover Channel

Another shock was dealt to the Shells (1-2-0) as they lost to DC (2-1-0) 60.31 to 87.26. With the win DC holds on to the point lead for the league by only .04. Their hold on fourth is strong for the time being, and they could move up into the top three as there will be at least one fewer perfect records next week. DC faces an overperforming Blitz team next week, but must keep up point production to hold one of the top spots. The Shellshock will try to keep the Gorians in the basement next week. The Shock have steadily improved each week, so this is a game to watch...if you care about the bottom of the league.

Vin’s Buttheads VS Deokoria’s Misfits

In the spanking of the week, the Buttheads (3-0-0) bent the Misfits (0-3-0) over their knee and wailed away, scoring a 67.49 to 37.95 victory. Only the Bitches have put up a worse score than the Misfits, but at least the Bitches are improving. The Buttheads hold onto third place with the victory, but are easily the weakest of the undefeated teams with a point total less than 13 points ahead of the winless Gorians. Meanwhile the Misfits sink to DFL based on their pathetic performance and the surprising showing by the Bitches. The Buttheads will face the Bitches next week, and have to be hoping that this week was a fluke, or we could easily see an upset and have only one undefeated team at the end of next week. The Misfits look to hand a victory to the Dogs next week.

[Gadiantor]

Originally posted by Serith
Serith's Shitlist:

FALIX

What the fuck is Falix doing? He's committing the A#1 worst cardinal sin in fantasy football.....


NOT PAYING A-FUCKING-TENTION TO YOU FUCKING TEAM!!!!!

Will this be the second week in a row he's starting a WR with a BROKEN FUCKING LEG?!

Im gonna go out on a limb and say that Steve Smith aint gonna make it to the line of scrimmage this week.

Get with the friggin' program.

Not only is his leg broken, but this past week was his Bye week, as it was for Martin too. Falix would have a shot at first place if he'd pay attention to his team. The only justice that can be done is for him to lose huge next week!