Premium Fantasy Football '04

[Gadiantor]

#1 Falix’s PowderPuffs VS #2 Liathano’s Discovery Channel

For the third time this season the #1 and #2 teams faced off. In the first two match ups it was the #2 team taking the win. The Puffs (9-2) wouldn’t let it happen a third time, as they beat DC (7-4) 74.27 to 63.51. The win all but guarantees the Puffs a playoff spot, and solidly puts them in first. DC drops to third, but there are five other teams with a shot at moving ahead of them before the season is out.

#6 Isaviel’s Blitzat1 VS #7 Pyryth’s Pokeys

The Blitz (6-5) dropped their third game in a row as the Pokeys (6-5) take their fourth consecutive win 71.59 to 62.82. Both teams are in the playoff hunt, just one game back third and fourth place. The Pokeys are closest in fifth by virtue of being the highest scoring 6-5 team, while the Blitz sits in eighth as the lowest scoring.

#9 Drasoini’s Shellshock VS #3 Vin’s Buttheads

The Buttheads (8-3) steamrolled the Shock (4-7) 80.33 to 50.14. Putting up the most points of the week helped solidify the Buttheads in second place. Not only are they a game ahead, but they are ahead on points. The Shock continue to wallow in ninth, and needing a miracle to make the playoffs.

#4 Serith’s Christ Punchers VS DFL Wrent’s Lucky Bitches

The Bitches (2-9) rolled over and took it from the Punchers (7-4) 67.54 to 41.16. Punchers fans are cautiously optimistic as their team holds the final playoff spot. The Bitches ensured that they stayed in DFL by putting up the second lowest point total of the week.

#10 Gadiantor’s Gridiron Gorians VS #5 Deokoria’s Misfits

Apparently last week’s ‘Battle of the Babes’ really took it out of the Misfits (6-5). With all the passion and gusto of a dead carp they let the Gorians (3-8) steal a 57.8 to 38.17 victory. The Gorians hold steady at tenth, but put a game between them and the basement, while the Misfits drop to seventh, but not out of playoff contention.

#11 Sebboe’s Seizuredogs VS #8 Xenoroyal’s New York GiMets

Someone needs to call the ASPCA on the GiMets (6-5) after the way they abused the Dogs (2-9) 76.98 to 53.34. The win moves the GiMets to sixth and in the middle of the playoff hunt, while the Dogs remain on top of the Bitches in eleventh.

[Gadiantor]

Originally posted by Wrent
Looking ahead, it is mathematically impossible now for me to make the playoffs...


But there's still time to fuck some other people's seaons up!




"Its not whether you win or loose, its how much you can piss off the competition."

That's the spirit! I've already made it harder for one team to make the playoffs, just two more to go! Even Falix isn't safe, if he loses out he's done, and Serith is hanging on by a thread! Time take on the role of the Arizona Cardinals as they crushed the Viking's playoff hopes in the last game last season! You fancy teams with your good records are going down!

[Gadiantor]

Just three games remain in the regular season, and all four playoff spots are still in reach of the top eight teams as we go into rematches from week one. Five of our six games this week will have potential playoff impact in what could be the most exciting playoff run in fantasy football history!

#6 Xenoroyal’s New York GiMets (6-5) VS #4 Serith’s Christ Punchers (7-4)

This is the most important game of the season for the GiMets. A win puts them even with the Punchers, and they would make up some of the 38 point difference and be able to make a bid for a playoff spot next week. A Punchers victory would be a blow to all of the 6-5 teams, as they need the Punchers or DC to drop one of the last three to have a shot at gridiron glory. If week one is any indicator everyone will have to wait until next week to get their shot, and the GiMets would need to win their last two and get a lot of help to make it in. This one is too close to call with both teams fighting for their playoff lives. We’re going out on a limb and calling Punchers by 3.

#5 Pyryth’s Pokeys (6-5) VS #7 Deokoria’s Misfits (6-5)

Winning this one means you still have a shot, losing means you need to win out to have a prayer. This is the biggest game of the season for these two teams as they try to claw their way into the playoffs. In week one the Pokeys easily handled the Misfits, and after the showing last week many are wondering which Misfits will show up this week. With Priest Holmes out the Misfits are missing the explosiveness they exhibited in the middle of the season, and it doesn’t look like he’ll be playing this week. We’re putting our money on the Pokeys to win by 15.

#2 Vin’s Buttheads (8-3) VS #8 Isaviel’s Blitzat1 (6-5)

With three games to go the Buttheads are only two games up on the playoff hopefuls. A win this week almost guarantees them a playoff spot, while a loss leaves the door open. This will be the first of three games against playoff contenders for the Buttheads, making every game crucial. The Blitz are in desperate need of a win. As the lowest scoring 6-5 team this is practically a must win game. We predict that history will repeat itself, and we’ll see the Buttheads on top by at least 20 when this one is over.

#10 Gadiantor’s Gridiron Gorians (3-8) VS #1 Falix’s Powderpuffs (9-2)

In order for the Puffs not to make the playoffs they would have to lose out and have one of the 6-5 teams overtake them in points. With the closest team over 120 points back it looks like the Puffs are pretty safe, but a win this week would formally make them a lock for the playoffs and two wins closer to home field advantage throughout. The Gorians are coming off of an upset of the Misfits, but we don’t think they have enough scoring power to knock off the top team. We predict a repeat of week one, Puffs by 20.

#11 Sebboe’s Seizuredogs (2-9) VS #3 Liathano’s Discovery Channel (7-4)

PETA has already called the DC front office and asked for mercy on the Dogs. DC is in solid playoff position right now with an almost 100 point cushion on the Punchers, and a game up on the rest of the pack. The win this week will give added padding to their playoff chances, but this isn’t a make-or-break game for them. We’re calling DC by 30, and making them our Lock of the Week!

#9 Drasoini’s Shellshock (4-7) VS DFL Wrent’s Lucky Bitches (2-9)

The networks dropped coverage of the game to air a Teletubbies marathon. Enough said. For you gamblers out there, Shock by 5 in the lowest scoring game of the week.

[Gadiantor]

Team        Makes Playoffs if...

Puffs*      Win one of three (Gorians, Misfits, Dogs) or
            Lose out, but maintain point lead (112 give)**
            Secures first cede by winning out

Buttheads*  Win two of three (Blitz, Pokeys, Misfits) or
            Win one of the last three, AND
                maintain point separation (105 to give)**
            Secures second cede by winning out

DC*         Win out (Dogs, Punchers, Shock) or
            Win two of last three, AND 
                maintain point lead (95 to give)**

Punchers*   Win out (GiMets, DC, Gorians) or
            Win two of last three, AND
                gain point lead (15 behind)**

Pokeys      Win out (Misfits, Buttheads, Bitches) AND
            one of the following:
            Puffs lose out AND 
                Pokeys gain 112 points on Puffs or
            Buttheads lose out or
            Buttheads lose two of last three AND
                Pokeys gain 105 points on Buttheads or
            DC loses two of last three or
            DC loses one of last three AND 
                Pokeys gain 95 points on DC or
            Punchers lose two of last three or
            Punchers lose one of last three AND
                Pokeys maintain point lead (14 to give)
            Additional possibilities exist, but require
            more help from other teams

GiMets      Win out (Punchers, Shock, Blitz) AND 
                one of the following:
            Pokeys lose one of last three AND 
                one of the below conditions or
            Pokeys win out AND 
                GiMets gain 52 points on Pokeys AND
                one of the following:
            Puffs lose out AND 
                GiMets gain 164 points on Puffs or
            Buttheads lose out or
            Buttheads lose two of last three AND
                GiMets gain 157 points on Buttheads or
            DC loses two of last three or
            DC loses one of last three AND 
                GiMets gain 147 points on DC or
            Punchers lose two of last three or
            Punchers lose one of last three AND
                GiMets gain 38 points on Punchers
            Additional possibilities exist, but require
            more help from other teams

Misfits     Win out (Pokeys, Puffs, Buttheads) AND 
                one of the following:
            GiMets lose one of last three AND
                one of the below conditions or
            GiMets win out AND 
                Misfits gain 16 points on GiMets AND
                one of the following:
            Puffs lose out AND 
                Misfits gain 164 points on Puffs or
            Buttheads lose out or
            Buttheads lose two of last three AND
                Misfits gain 181 points on Buttheads or
            DC loses two of last three or
            DC loses one of last three AND
                Misfits gain 160 points on DC or
            Punchers lose two of last three or
            Punchers lose one of last three AND
                Misfits gain 62 points on Punchers
            Additional possibilities exist, but require
            more help from other teams

Blitz       Win out (Buttheads, Bitches, GiMets) AND 
                one of the following:
            Pokeys and Misfits both lose one of three AND
                one of the below conditions or
            Pokeys win out AND
                Blitz gain 104 points on Pokeys AND
                Misfits win out AND
                Blitz gain 28 on Misfits AND
                one of the following:
            Puffs lose out AND
                Blitz gain 216 points on Puffs or
            Buttheads lose out or
            Buttheads lose two of three AND
                Blitz gain 209 points on Buttheads or
            DC loses two of three or
            DC loses one of three AND
                Blitz gain 188 points on DC or
            Punchers lose two of three or
            Punchers lose one of three AND
                Misfits gain 90 points on Punchers
            Additional possibilities exist, but require
            more help from other teams

* Teams control their own destiny. They don’t need any help
  to make the playoffs.

** For point separation to become an issue at least one of
   the 6-5 teams needs to win out. Current point lead is
   based on the highest scoring 6-5 team, the Pokeys. If
   the Pokeys lose any of their last three, points to give
   increase by 52 for GiMets. If the GiMets lose any of
   their last three, points to give increase by 76 for the
   Misfits. If the Misfits lose any of their last three,
   points to give increase by 103 for the Blitz. Point
   increases are not cumulative (ie: if the Blitz win out
   and all over 6-5 teams lose at least one game points to
   give increase by 103).

EDIT BY ARISTOTLE: I had to take out the (code) tags because it was messing up the formatting of the entire page. Code tag use has to be done carefully to make sure it doesn't cause messed up screen scrolling.

RE-EDITTED BY GADIANTOR: I reformatted the post to stay around a 60 character maximum line length, so hopefully that works, if not I'll give up on formatting it.

[Liathano]

jesus Gad, i cant believe you took the time to figure all that out! you rock! those were awesome

here's to celebrating a playoff berth early

[Aristotle]

Originally posted by Gadiantor


#11 Sebboe’s Seizuredogs VS DFL Wrent’s Lucky Bitches

Bitches won, but nothing changed in the standings. Both teams still suck.

Bwahahahahaha!

[aelyn]

Man, Gad, you've done awesome with the updates this year! I'm totally getting into it and I haven't even got a team. *grin*

[Liathano]

Originally posted by Gadiantor
We’re calling DC by 30, and making them our Lock of the Week!

DC meets and exceeds all expectations with a nearly 70 point beatdown on the dogs, once again winning as lock of the week.

[Gadiantor]

Originally posted by Liathano
DC meets and exceeds all expectations with a nearly 70 point beatdown on the dogs, once again winning as lock of the week.

Dude, animal cops is totally going to do a raid on your ass!

If only all of my predictions were good, but I'm still perfect on my 'Lock of the Week'!

[Isaviel]

*Blitzers stand in shock over the corpse of the Buttheads and thinks oO(Did I do that?)*