[META] Drug Cheating: Any recourse?

Not that shocking, but still... damn.

Report says Jones used steroids for two years before 2000 Games

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Marion Jones admitted using steroids before the 2000 Olympics in a recent letter to close family and friends, The Washington Post reported Thursday.

Jones, a triple gold medalist in Sydney, said she took "the clear" for two years, beginning in 1999, and that she got it from former coach Trevor Graham, the newspaper reported. Graham told her it was flaxseed oil.

"The clear" is a performance-enhancing drug linked to BALCO, the lab at the center of a federal steroids investigation. Until now, Jones had steadfastly denied she ever took any kind of performance-enhancing drugs.

Jones also said she will plead guilty Friday in New York to two counts of lying to federal agents about her drug use and an unrelated financial matter, the Post reported.

"I want to apologize for all of this," the newspaper reported, quoting a person who received a copy of Jones' letter and read it to the paper. "I am sorry for disappointing you all in so many ways."

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They're oh so apologetic after it happens, aren't they. Or to be more accurate, after they're caught. Why, if they know how wrong it is, did they do it anyway? Makes the apology sound a tad hollow.

Surprise! Surprise!

Clemens 'swears' in interview he's never used banned substances

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Roger Clemens says he was injected with "Lidocaine and B-12" and not steroids or human growth hormone by former trainer Brian McNamee, according to a portion of an interview with CBS' "60 Minutes" released Thursday.

"Lidocaine and [vitamin] B-12. It's for my joints, and B-12 I still take today," Clemens told Mike Wallace in the interview, which is scheduled to be shown Sunday night. It is Clemens' first interview since the release of the Mitchell report in December.

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Whatever.

I wish Clemens would just admit he used roids before he gets caught perjuring himself and is fucked in every orafice?

Report: Clemens, McNamee had lengthy conversation Friday night

Fan comments for the win:

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Excerpt from the Clemens-McNamee call (source: Patriot Act phonetap):

Clemens: Hey, Bri. Rocket here...

McNamee: Umm, Roger, are you sure that we should be talking?

Clemens: I had to let you know that what you said really stings, buddy. I mean, didn't I take good care of you, get you the job with the Yankees, give you new business?

McNamee: You were great, Roger. But if I lied, the Feds were going to bunk me with Greg Anderson. I hear that the dude snores and he is a lousy lay.

Clemens: Well, on Sunday night everyone will see that I am telling the truth. Mike Wallace is a tough interviewer and negotiator - he had me sign 100 baseballs for him.

McNamee: Got to go, Roger. Please don't call me again, ok?

Clemens: Call you? This conversation never took place...

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and

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Roger: Hello?

McNamee: Hey there, it's me.

Roger: (coldly) What's up?

McNamee: Oh don't be that way. We can't let the press ruin what we once had.

Roger: I guess. It was special, wasn't it?

McNamee: Yeppers. I'm sorry that meanie George Mitchell used the Feds to strong arm me into telling the truth to them.

Roger: It's OK. I would have flipped on you, my wife and every kid I have that I named with the letter K as soon as I knew I could save my own hide.

McNamee: I know.

Roger: So now what?

McNamee: Well that depends on how bad you trashed me in the "60 Minutes" fluff job that's airing tonite.

Roger: Not too bad. I used the 'deny deny deny' approach and I hope everyone buys the the "B12 + Lidocaine" excuse. It's a new one, I think.

McNamee: Good, the gullible public will surely buy it. I mean, it's not like your performance spiked at a time when you should have been continuing to fade like Dan Duquette predicted.

Roger: Ha, that's a good one. Wanna come over and help me re-frost the tips of my hair?

McNamee: Sure, what are you wearing?

Roger: Cut-off t-shirt, pink Juicy sweats, Hannah Montana slippers.

McNamee: My favorites. Be right over.

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The three most annoying and disturbing statements from the Clemens 60 minutes interview were:

1)

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"If he's doing that to me, I should have a third ear coming out of my forehead. I should be pulling tractors with my teeth," said Clemens, who wore a lavender button-down shirt during the interview, taped Dec. 28 at his home in Katy, Texas.

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Huh? Since when do steroids cause a genetic mutation like that?

2)

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"It's hogwash for people to even assume this," Clemens said. "Twenty-four, 25 years, Mike. You'd think I'd get an inch of respect. An inch."

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Yeah poor guy never got an inch of respect. Like, nobody paid him $28 million to go 6-6 with a 4.18 ERA and start a couple months late in the season.

3)

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"If I have these needles and these steroids and all these drugs, where did I get 'em?" he said. "Where is the person out there [who] gave 'em to me? Please, please come forward."

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Yeah, illegal drug dealers are always jumping at the chance to confess to their crimes.

Idiot.

Oh please please please please be legit:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3233878

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The lawyers wouldn't discuss what the evidence is, but a source told the Daily News that McNamee gave vials with traces of steroids and human growth hormone, as well as blood-stained syringes and gauze pads that might contain Clemens' DNA, to the Justice Department's BALCO investigators.

The evidence has been sent to a lab for testing, and prosecutors might seek a court order for a DNA sample from Clemens if the evidence contains traces of drugs and blood, the Daily News reported.

McNamee kept the vials, gauze pads and syringes from the 2000 and 2001 seasons because he feared Clemens would deny using performance-enhancing drugs, the source told the Daily News.

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Dude, saving bloody syringes? Wow. That's like Lewinsky's spooge stained blue dress.

Clemens could be so horribly owned. If he lied to Congress his ass will be grass.

If it pans out like this, and Clemens goes to the slammer for lying, I hope that will be the end of the "I did not knowingly take steroids" canard. I hope athletes will realize the PR hit is a lot better than jail, and will just own up when caught.

It's hard to buy what Clemens says, but his lawyer has a point here:

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(Lanny Breuer, referring to McNamee) "He claims to love Roger Clemens, he says he modeled being a father on Roger Clemens, he said Roger treated him like family -- but he now claims he kept blood, gauze and needles from Roger Clemens for seven years. It defies all sensibility."

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I wonder which of them (Clemens or McNamee) is more full of shit. My initial reaction when all this started was that Clemens was totally guilty and McNamee was just scared/covering his ass. This strikes me as really fishy though.

Trust, but verify.

When you are engaging in illegal activity with someone, it is a good idea to keep an ace up your sleeve.

It doesn't mean he doesn't respect the guy. It just means he was smart enough to save some evidence to save his own ass if need be.

LOL

Ex-Bronco Henry tests positive for marijuana

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A source close to free agent running back Travis Henry has confirmed he has tested positive for marijuana again and is subject to a one-year suspension by the NFL.

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Why do they suspend guys for smoking pot, when Leonard Little plays on after murdering a wife and mother?

Ortiz wants season-long ban

So, how long until Ortiz tests positive?

That seems to be the way these things shake out nowadays.