Stats, Trash Talk & YOU- Fantasy Hockey 05!

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October 17th, 2005, 11:24 PM
Leshrak

Stats, Trash Talk & YOU- Fantasy Hockey 05!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
| Team -|Bud Ice|Frosty | Newts |Rockets|Banshees|Fresh|Thrashers|Bladerunners|
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
| Name -|Leshrak|Talsek |Nizevyn| Falix | Vidare |Khirm| Azyael -| - Pyryth - |
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|=G=====|42-----|34-----|25-----|29-----|28------|30---|44 ***** |35----------|
|=A=====|51-----|60-----|53-----|37-----|48------|40---|55-------|64 ******** |
|(+/-)==|+12----|0------|+18 ** |-16----|-2------|+15--|+9-------|+15---------|
|=PIM===|92-----|100----|113----|86-----|130 *** |70---|121------|114---------|
|=PPG===|16-----|18-----|10-----|11-----|12------|11---|22 ***** |11----------|
|=PPA===|27-----|29-----|26-----|20-----|17------|15---|27-------|30 ******** |
|=PPP===|43-----|47-----|36-----|31-----|29------|26---|49 ***** |41----------|
|=SHG===|0------|0------|3 **** |0------|2-------|0----|2--------|2-----------|
|=SHA===|0------|0------|0------|0------|1-------|1----|1--------|6 ********* |
|=GWG===|4------|7------|4------|2------|10 **** |3----|9--------|5-----------|

|Goalies|-------|-------|-------|-------|--------|-----|---------|------------|
|=W=====|5------|7------|8------|7------|9-------|5----|8--------|11 ******** |
|=SHO===|1------|1------|0------|0------|0-------|0----|1--------|3 ********* |
|=SV%===|.886---|.893---|.884---|.878---|.881----|.892-|.931 *** |.920--------|
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
*** (Denotes Category Leader)

- Standings -
1 - Headthrashers ---- 18-7-3
2 - Bladerunners ----- 17-8-3
3 - Nizzy's Newts ---- 15-11-2
4 - Frosty Aquamonkeys 13-9-6
5 - Minty Fresh ------ 10-14-4
5t- PondRockets ------ 10-14-4
7 - Drink Bud Ice ---- 9-14-5
8 - Ice Banshees ----- 5-20-3

Lackluster performances by the Ice Banshees have landed them a .232 win percentage thus far, but they hope to overcome this defecit against the number two ranked Bladerunners in week 3. This should prove to be a difficult feat for sure as the Bladerunners own three of the league's top goalies in Luongo, Hasek, and Brodeur, but recent additions to the Banshees' roster could prove deadly.

The Headthrashers have jumped out to an early 1-game lead so far, not surprising considering the star-studded talent that lines their roster. Lang, Zetterberg, Shannanhan, and Samuelsson all lead the team in scoring, but picking all of your stars from the same team could prove to be the decisive factor when the Red Wings have a drought. Only time will tell if Azyael's move was a smart one, as the Thrashers take on the fifth place Minty Fresh this week, who are hungry for something to prove with Khirmint at the helm.

Falix's overhyped PondRockets have had a disappointing opening two games, coming in dead last in 7 of 13 stat categories, but the recent activation of Ilya Kovalchuk could be what pushes them on top in their matchup against the tough and resourceful Newts. Don't count the Newts out, though, as they're only three wins out of the top spot and can taste blood.

Drink Bud Ice has nearly managed to tie for fifth place, just one win behind, but poor performances from stars Lemieux, Kiprusoff and Esche have helped to quench any hopes of pulling out a winning matchup as of yet. They take on the Frosty Aquamonkeys this week, who hope to improve on their hold of fourth place, and aren't far off from third. Look for this one to be a grind-em-out week as both teams are close to being leaders in a couple of stat-categories.
October 18th, 2005, 12:07 AM
Talsek

Good evening, hockey fans, and welcome to Aquamonkey Access, your ticket to the hottest news for -your- Frosty Aquamonkeys.

This week saw the FAM break out of the gate with overconfidence pulling at their tails. After a fantastic start in Week 1, the Monkeys fell flat on their faces this week. Aquamonkey Access was able to reach some of the players for comment...

-----

AA: It must be hard for you to be patient with your recovery, after seeing the team struggling and knowing you could help.
Marian Gaborik: Ouch. My groin. Ouch. Argh. I'm still out. Argh.

-----

AA: Peter, you had a very productive week despite your team's sad showing. Do you think the Aquamonkeys were a bit too confident after last week's rape of Minty Fresh?
Peter Forsberg: I pass the puck to the players, the players score. I get assists. I don't get goals. I have a beard. I'm Swedish. Bork bork bork!

-----

And last but not least, a message from our sponsors:

Don't Drink Bud Ice!
October 24th, 2005, 09:17 AM
Talsek

Argh, damn you Leshrak!

The Frosty Aquamonkeys had a good outing this week, but were edged out by Leshrak's vile crew. We've got two losses in a row now, so Nizzy's Newts have to die. Sorry Nizevyn, but I guarantee a win this week. If I lose, I'll be the league sex slave/punching bag for November. But it ain't happening ;).

Talsek

Screams arise in the distance as Talsek begins whipping his team into shape for the coming week...
October 25th, 2005, 11:46 AM
Azyael

Woo hoo!

Look at that.

Headthrashers 12
Minty Fresh 1

That game was alot like playing Hockey against Helen Keller. :crashLook to see the Bladerunners score some games this week.

Regardless, this puts the Headthrashers at a 8 point lead. The PondRockets will all to easily be adding to that streak.

Are the Bladerunnrs the ONLY team worthy of being in the same League as the Headthrasers? :devil
October 26th, 2005, 01:28 PM
Aristotle

Quote:

Originally posted by Azoryn

Look at that.

Headthrashers 12
Minty Fresh 1

That game was alot like playing Hockey against Helen Keller.

Daaaaaamn.

Quote:

Originally posted by Azoryn
Are the Bladerunnrs the ONLY team worthy of being in the same League as the Headthrasers? :devil

Double Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

That is some serious smack talk. Is anyone able to rise to the challenge?
October 26th, 2005, 05:20 PM
Khirmint

Soon as I have time to log in and organize, sure! I still haven't figured out whats what with this.
October 26th, 2005, 08:47 PM
Leshrak

Standings Through Week 4
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
1 Headthrashers 30-8-4
2 Bladerunners 22-14-6
3 Nizzy's Newts 22-15-5
4 Frosty Aquamonkeys 18-16-8
5 Drink Bud Ice 16-19-7
6 PondRockets 14-21-7
7 Ice Banshees 11-25-6
8 Minty Fresh 11-26-5

Week 4 Matchups(and current scores through Wednesday):
-=-
#5 Drink Bud Ice (8)
vs
#7 Ice Banshees (1)

#3 Nizzy's Newts (7)
vs
#4 Frosty Aquamonkeys (4)

#6 PondRockets (4)
vs
#1 Headthrashers (6)

#8 Minty Fresh (3)
vs
#2 Bladerunners (6)

Week 3 Results (sorry for the delay, work was busy on Monday & Tuesday)
-=-=-
Drink Bud Ice - 7
vs
Frosty Aquamonkeys - 5
-Final-

As expected, Bud Ice and the Aquamonkeys scratched it out to a close finish, with Bud taking the win by two points. Look for the Monkeys to rebound this week as they hope to post a loss to the #3 Nizzy's Newts, and Bud plans to take a dominating win over the Ice Banshees on their home turf. This announcer reminds you: Drink Bud Ice, but uh, Beware of the Penguins.

Nizzy's Newts - 7
PondRockets - 4
-Final-

Nizzy's Newts have rebounded from a heartbreaking week 2 loss to the Thrashers with a 7-4 win over the(again) much overhyped PondRockets of Falix. The Newts travel to the AquaDome this week in hopes of making it two in a row, and Falix's Rockets fly to The Dungeon to take on the Headthrashers. Line: 9:5 Thrashers

Ice Banshees - 6
Bladerunners - 5
-Final-

The Banshees posted their first win this week after the embarassing Week 2 loss to Minty Fresh, vaulting them out of dead last place by a margin of just one goal. Look for their poor performance to return this week as they take on the up-and-coming Drink Bud Ice in what's being billed as "The Crushing of the Ice." This sportscaster predicts another embarassing loss this week for the Bladerunners as they take on the now-last-place Minty Fresh.

Minty Fresh - 1
Headthrashers - 12
-Final-

Total dominance. Minty Fresh bent over and took it from behind (again)last week, all the while screaming, "THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER???" They move on in week 4, hoping to whip the Bladerunners into submission, but only time will tell if the slave can become the master. The Thrashers slide into week 4 undefeated, outscoring their opponents by a margin of 30-8!! This will be the game to watch this week as the Thrashers throw on their leather and chains to prepare for an all out rear assault!
October 27th, 2005, 06:03 PM
Vidare

Quote:

Originally posted by Talsek
We've got two losses in a row now, so Nizzy's Newts have to die. Sorry Nizevyn, but I guarantee a win this week. If I lose, I'll be the league sex slave/punching bag for November. But it ain't happening ;).
[/i]

So, I guess you're going to be the league sex slave/punching bag. It's 7pm EDT on Thursday, and you're getting, to be blunt, your ass pounded even worse than Bandle gave it to Whitewing. The Newts seem to be making you their bitch of the week, with an 11-1 beating. That's reminiscent of when Team Evil whacked Wyden in the Griffon a few years ago.
October 28th, 2005, 08:59 AM
Talsek

Quote:

Originally posted by Vidare
So, I guess you're going to be the league sex slave/punching bag. It's 7pm EDT on Thursday, and you're getting, to be blunt, your ass pounded even worse than Bandle gave it to Whitewing. The Newts seem to be making you their bitch of the week, with an 11-1 beating. That's reminiscent of when Team Evil whacked Wyden in the Griffon a few years ago.

Don't count out the Monkeys just yet! Thursday night cut the lead by 4. Now all we need is a miracle (we're close in enough categories that it's possible). We're not too worried yet!
October 28th, 2005, 09:24 PM
Dalaena

Dude, that's some serious trash-talking. Never let yourself be linked to Whitewing!

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