12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society
<>> The following is on a tired topic, but I thought it was funny and that I would share! <<>
12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer life-spans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.
Re: 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society
Quote:
Originally posted by karahd
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
I'm going to go try this!! Maybe I'll be able to reach the 2nd shelf now.
Re: 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society
Quote:
Originally posted by karahd
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
Actually, shaking hands with someone who is gay can make you gay- so be careful.
Talking to someone who is gay about anything other than sports and war can make you gay.
Talking to someone who is gay about your feelings or decorating ideas almost always makes you gay.
Gay germs are very powerful and if you are male, the only shot you can take for it makes you even more gay.
Re: 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society
Quote:
Originally posted by karahd
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
i'm going to start hanging out with dudes with giant schlongs now in hopes that it works for other aspects
Re: Re: 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society
Quote:
Originally posted by Liathano
i'm going to start hanging out with dudes with giant schlongs now in hopes that it works for other aspects
You better stay away from Yadji, then.
Re: Re: Re: 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society
Quote:
Originally posted by Aristotle
You better stay away from Yadji, then.
as if i hadnt already planned on it :p
Re: Re: 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society
Quote:
Originally posted by Aristotle
Talking to someone who is gay about your feelings or decorating ideas almost always makes you gay.
.
This reminds me of a conversation Ari and I once had, where he admitted he knew who Marc Jacobs (a fashion designer) was. He had to talk about boobs for about ten minutes after that to make us both feel better about the situation.
